Fearing AF

Does anyone else fear getting af every cycle? 
It feels like dream crushing every month especially this time! I've had intense symptoms and just had the most vivid dream we had a girl named Ella Faith. I could even see her hair color. Makes me wish it was true so much more! I've had back pain, heavy cm, smell sensitivity, and and irregular pattern in my breathing which I've read can be because your body is adjusting to needing more oxygen and when I do breath in deep I get nausea yet I'm 11 dpo all bfn. :( I fight the urge to cry from the uncertainty! I'm hopeful still!