No longer trying to conceive

I can't handel these bfns anymore.  Nore this emotional rollercoaster with DH.  One month he wants to try the next his off board.  It's emotionally draining and painful.  Googling and purchasing fertility products, my mind consumed with baby things and thoughts.  The stress is unbearable and the pain unexplainable.  He offically said he no longer wants to try and usually I would argue but I choose my husband over my desire for another child.  It's hurts to know at the end of the day I can't conceive without him and I would never want to force him into it.  I want it to be mutual and right now I guess isn't our time.  I've been waiting a year for him to be on board we finally have been and this is month 6 ttc.  I guess I'm going to be putting away all my apps and products in the closet till we are ready to revisit together...