Please someone help me...

Unfortunately, at the hardest time of my life, my boyfriend of 10 months moved all the way across the country. The move killed me and I didn't think it would. But for some reason, not even a month later, I broke up with him through text because I thought the distance was too hard on us. The distance was nothing. And now, just knowing the fact that we aren't even together, kills me so much more...we were so special together and I know he loved me so much. And now, we finally started saying I love you, though it's extremely rare to be texting it to each other, it still happens...
We were very close while he was here, best of friends. He took me on my first date, took my virginity, never hurt me. He acts differently now that he's in a new place. He drinks more, goes to parties. And I'm left in this stupid town...I miss him soo much. I'm at the point where I'm so depressed that I can't even shed a tear or sleep, and I just want to end it all. What do I need to do with him? Or with myself?