Is it ok to have a baby?

Question

Ok....heres the deal. I'm getting up there in age and well....my husband and I arent exactly super well off financially. Not quite poverty level, but in between there and middle class...we both want a baby but know we're going to struggle financially. BUT, what greater love is there than that for a child? I know I know, there are going to be opinions voicing that I'm selfish for bringing a child into the world knowing very well that I cant afford one but I'm a mother in my heart, and I'm desperately needing my baby....can I just get some opinions or advice from other women who have had to struggle financially AND have had children....do you regret it? No judgement here, just honest insight please....

Answer

Honestly, the majority of the world "can't afford a baby" but most people still make it work.  Babies aren't as expensive as "statistics" make it seem, IMO.  Don't buy everything new, (except car seats, buy those new) shop for sales, stock up when you find stuff cheap, get on WIC.... Yes, you have to give up some things, but it's definitely worth it :)

Answer

You are not being selfish, every woman deserves a chance to be a mother if they want to be one. There are ways to save on baby items like going to consignments and buying cheap diapers. I'd say the most expensive is childcare. Wishing you the best.

Answer

Is at least one of you working or looking for a job? You don't have to be rich to have a child. I think if you yearn for one that badly and at least you or your husband is working, then go for it! You never know what issues you may face TTC, and you won't biologically be able to have kids forever. Government aid is there for people that physically cannot work or just don't make enough money (but are actively trying to support their family.) There isn't automatically anything wrong with using government assistance!

Answer

If everyone waited until they could afford a baby, there would be very few babies born! The most important thing is to have a stable home & medical coverage. You can breastfeed, buy second hand clothes, crib, stroller, etc. Being a mother is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. It would be a shame to miss out on your heart's desire to be a mom just because of money. Best of luck to you!

Answer

Rent a cheaper home change your energy suppliers cut off your cable TV  for a while. 
you're in between poverty and middle class? Wow I wish! :) 
There's ways to do it if you're really serious about it. 
Being a parent is more about sacrifice than anything else. 
The expenses of children don't need to bankrupt you. 
Take control of your finances see where you can make cuts to save up for the essentials and there's nothing wrong with accepting help and handmedowns from friends and family.

Answer

You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. It is not selfish at all. My brother and his wife are due December 7th, and they can't afford life one bit! But they are making it work. It always works out, people just figure it out. My husband and I just found out today we are expecting, and couldn't be happier even though we probably can't afford it either! There is no greater blessing than a child, please go for it!!

Answer

perhaps you should take my advice with a grain of salt because i don't want children for a multitude of reasons, but i think you should wait it out until you guys are better prepared. i know if i were to have a child, i wouldn't bring him or her into a struggle. i'd consider freezing your eggs as an option until things improve if you're worried about fertility.

Answer

I think what a baby needs most is love and you seem to have plenty of that. Having a baby doesn't have to be super expensive, you can breastfeed, and pick up a lot of baby items at children's resale shops not everything needs to be new (babies use most things for a short amount of time anyway) and you can start stock piling diapers a box at a time.

Answer

Our family told us if you wait until you are financially prepared... You will never have a baby... There are plenty of resources on Pinterest (for example) that give ideas for having children on a tight budget. Baby showers can help you get prepared, just register for basic items--who needs a video monitor? When you have limited income you really learn to get by on just the absolute necessities :) do a lot of bargain shopping, couponing, and start stocking up on diapers and wipes when there are sales before baby comes :) everyone deserves to have a child if they have the love waiting in their heart! Also... I'm not sure where you are from by my area has a lot of buy used/flea market type pages on Pinterest where a lot of baby items get posted in the community for very cheap! Good luck!

Answer

I watched my mother struggle and best friend and my sister in law and brother. It's not just hard it's what you have to give up which is what you want most. Time with that child. Because now your working twice as hard to make ends meet. My brother and sister in laws son is 9 now there still living pay check to paycheck and getting help from both sets of parents. My best friend lives in a condo 2 bed with her husband and two girls. She can't afford to have another because money is that tight and can't afford to sell or buy a bigger place. My mother always just got by barely working two jobs and food stamps. My dad used to send us home with cans of food in our nap sack because some weeks it was food or electricity.  You'll never be completely ready for kids but if you can carry the burden on your own not just the baby stuff the hole ticket cause they do grow up then have at it. But if not maybe you and your husband need to reevaluate things.

Is it ok to have a baby?

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