Ladies. Gents. The Single Life isn't Bad. I'll Tell You Why.

Mary • Hi! I`m Mary. I have a BA in Psychology. Been dealing with PCOS for 22 years. I work at Sander’s Candy and Ice Cream Shop and trying to get my head around this COVID craziness!

So I've been single for the past few years and I've grown comfortable with it. No one to please, no one to cater to, and I can just be me and not have to pretend to be interested in what the other person is asking me about and the like. I can let all my flaws come out and there will be no one to judge or impress or tell me who I have to be. 

So why are you content with being single, now, and possibly forever you might ask? Being single allows you to set priorities for yourself, evaluate your likes and dislikes, allows you to think about what you really want to do in life, and evaluate what you are looking for in a person. Of course, you want to keep your options open and just because the person doesn't fit the bill exactly doesn't mean you automatically ignore them or dismiss them out of hand. 

If you are like me and like cute intellectual types, then try to find a touch point with those kind of people. If they like the The Great Gatsby and you didn't, find out why they liked it and say why you didn't. It's all about trial and error. Or if you are more interested in a sports fanatic and jock type person, rattle off some of the latest sports statics or offer to go on a run with them sometime when you get to know them better. 

If you are also like me and attract a younger set of people, just go with it! Don't go looking for a particular person that you think you might fall for, because chemistry just happens! And while age has some role in that chemistry it's not necessarily a determining factor as to whether a relationship will blossom. 

If you find that you attracting the one nighters, the fly by nights, and "grab-n-go" types it may have a lot to do with how you dress or carry yourself. Ladies, while the sexy scoop neck backless cocktail dress may be good for relationship that's in full swing, it's not a good idea on the first date. Guys, at least so my brothers, experience, the Internet, and my dad tell me are easily amused when it comes to how a woman dresses. Excessive cleavage, mini skirts, and the like are all an invitation to possibly unwanted advances, like sex on the first date. If a guy is wanting to do that he probably isn't going to stay with you very long. If that is what you are looking for then fine, but I know if I'm ever going into a relationship I'd want him to stick around for more than 30 seconds. 

And confidence says a lot. Being timid and afraid to speak up for yourself and you could wind up in big trouble! How do get confident you might ask? Be around those who are, try to develop a "f them if they don't like me" attitude, in other words, accept yourself for who you are and don't let anyone tell you or shame you into being someone else! 

So your dad or mom wasn't trying to be mean or get you to dress like a nun or somebody in a retirement home. What they were probably looking for was young, modern, classic, and more conservative type clothing so you can catch the good guys and filter out the "fast food" types. I know I don't want to be somebody's "fast food" with no taste or nutrition. If I am to be a dish then I'll be like a fillet mignon. Delcious, desirable, and a rare commodity. And while that leaves you lonely most of the time, you will at least have your dignity and honor about you. 

So is being single a death nail? No I don't think so. You won't die from being single. Embrace it! Use it as an opportunity to be free and be yourself. Accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all, and be an example to those who you think are putting on a mask. Once they see you being yourself, they'll feel comfortable being themselves too! Singles for Life or girlfriend in waiting. I don't care which because I have plans for my college degrees and my professional life. Personal life and social life is sure to follow once I have those two very important aspects of my life taken care of. 

End of Rant!

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