Feeling down.

Not a question really. I just don't know what to do. I've only been in one relationship in my life. It lasted a year and ended a month ago. And it was with my best friend and the guy I liked for 4-5 years prior to being with him. He broke my heart. I'm at a loss of what to do. This is really only the third time I've cried. 1st was the night it happened and the 2nd was when I found out he was going to Indiana to meet the girl he was talking to over me. And I just feel like complete shit. I keep trying to tell myself that I did nothing wrong. I was a good girlfriend. But if that's the case then why did he pull away. Why did we break up. I just keep thinking there has to be something wrong with me. And I feel like I'll never be loved. I feel like that whole year was just a lie. And I haven't let myself cry because every time I cry I feel like he won. He is happy and moving on. When he actually moved on months before we broke up.