How to know if he's the one? A bit long but please help :)

I adore him to death but I'm having a hard time getting over what he's done In our previous relationship. He lied, kept secrets that weren't appropriate and cheated emotionally with many woman. He made me feel Insecure and not special despite his efforts to make me feel like an amazing girlfriend. I'm trying to move on but its hard. I've known him for 2 years. We dated for a year but broke up the same week of our 1 year anniversary. 4 months layer we got back together and things between us are blissful.

Growing up, I was sexually abused by a number of men so my mistrust of men began when I was really young. Also witnessing my father cheating on my step mother with my own mother made it worst. I looked up to him and believed he was my super hero but it broke me seeing him do that. With that said, I think that's also a factor as to why I'm having such a difficult time trusting him and moving past it all despite how much I want to. I feel as if my past abuse and mental scaring is holding me back because my mistrust began at 8 and the abuse continued till I was 16 and I'm 20. I'm still recovering from it all

...I don't understand what love is because I lacked it growing up. I don't know if what I'm feeling for him is love or a moment. I don't like being alone so it came across my head that I could be using him as a comfort tool but I don't know.

I get angry at him for doing stupid stuff

It pissed me off when he doesnt take care of himself

I have thoughts of marriage and I get excited with the thought of being his wife and the mother to hid child

I will walk in the freezing cold for him and I have

If we are low on food, I purposely eat less so he'll eat more despite wishing to do 50 50 but he eats more than me.

I get jealous when he hangs out and wish to be by his side

He's the first person I've actually opened myself up to and told secrets to that I would normally never share with anyone.

I push to him to be better

I nag him to prioritize

He's adorable he's sweet, he's freaking weird which I love, he's quit handy too lol.

I get embarassed still

We don't argue at all in our new relationship. We have a level of understanding that I didn't know we could achieve after our first break up. We just talk it out, get pouty with other and a few minutes later, we're having fun.

I'm just happy and satisfied with what we have together even if it's not much. I get scared when I think of him not being in my arms.

Is this how love is described?

But..

I have never been sexually attracted to him or no man at that. I've read on here that if you aren't sexually attracted to them, you're not into them? I think the reason may be because of the abuse as a child that I don't look at men that way. I do find him attractive though but I don't have whatever it is that females experience when being sexually attracted to someone.