Am I selfish? I don't know what to do.

Question

My husband has a son already, but this one is our first baby together.  He always told me he wants to name his first son with me after him, and even  though his name isn't one I would pick, I didn't care and was fine with it.

Well now I'm pregnant and we don't know the gender yet, but I'm literally praying for a girl. I don't want it to be a boy, at all. Literally the ONLY reason I don't want it to be a boy is because I want to be able to name my first baby :(  I thought I was fine with a Jr but the closer it gets to the gender scan, the more I'm upset about it.  I've been thinking of baby names since I was like 5 years old :(  his mom picked his name, so it's like she's naming MY baby.  I'm just really upset and I don't know what to do.  I'm worried it will be a boy and I won't even be able to be happy.  I would be fine if this was our 2nd child, but I've waited so long to be a mommy, I feel like he's taking this from me :(

Answer

He has a son already and wants to name the second boy a junior? I think that is kind of mean to the first boy to be honest. The older boy could feel like he wasn't good enough to be named after his dad

Answer

If you have been thinking about it since 5 years old why did you agree in the first place it sounds like you created your own issue by not being honest and communicating how you felt to your husband in the beginning now your are blaming him not fair

Answer

Definitely talk to your husband. People are allowed to change their minds so even if you were somewhat okay with it when you first talked about it, it's okay if you feel differently now that you're pregnant. Basically explain what you've written here, but say it to him. One way to compromise would be to choose his name as a middle name or to let him pick the middle name while you pick the first name.

Answer

Maybe try and make it a middle name?

Answer

I agree with Iris, I've agreed to things with my hubby while dating and changed my mind later after we have been married.  It's easy to agree with things when it's not an issue at the time.  Talk with him and see if you can compromise, like Iris said, with a middle name or something.  Or maybe make an agreement that your second son can be his jr.

Answer

You're allowed to change your mind, but don't be surprised if he's perplexed or irked. It sounds like he's also always had this in mind, just like you've been thinking of names for a long time. This is just something you two will have to negotiate. I think you should talk to your husband. If you don't, you might just smolder about it, and that's not good for either of you.

My husband has thought of his name, but was agreeable to using his name as the middle name. I don't like "Jr" at all, and I didn't want the confusion of two people with the same name in the same house, and I didn't want our kid to be "Little Husband" and my husband to be "Big Husband". I also found some cases where the father or son steals the others ID and it is a hell of a mess to sort out, apparently.

Am I selfish? I don't know what to do.

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