He wants another baby (really long, I'm sorry)

Last night my husband had a few drinks at dinner. We were chatting about our 18 month old son. He "jokingly" asked when we're having another. The saying "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts" came to mind.

Tonight while we were out running errands with our son, I brought up the joke again. At first he made a you've got to be kidding me face, but then got quiet, so I knew he was holding something back. I finally got it out of him, he doesn't want our son to be an only child. But I'm terrified of being pregnant again!

My pregnancy was too easy, no morning sickness, no mood swings etc. I just felt normal. But during my 20 week growth scan, we discovered that I was high risk, the baby wasn't growing at the normal rate. Turns out that there was an issue with the blood flow in the umbilical cord. I was being monitored 3 times a week, and constantly reminded by the Dr's that if the baby stops moving for an extended period of time to get to the hospital immediately.

At 27 weeks I was put on hospital bed rest, always having monitors strapped to my belly, ultrasounds every day, tons of blood tests and steroid shots to help the baby's lungs develop and plenty of scares because the baby's heart rate would drop from 140 to 60. It was a nightmare!

Dec 26, 2013 my little boy was born via c section 9 weeks early, weighing 3 lbs. Thank God he was able to breathe on his own.

He spent a month in the nicu. And although he seemed to be ok, and just needed to grow, there was a chance that he could've died.

I know there are many women that have their own stories that are far worse than mine, but honestly, I don't think that I could go thru all of that mental anguish again. My ob said it's very likely that I will encounter the same issue and advised me to not have more kids because I may not be so lucky next time.

My son is amazing, he loves being around other kids and babies. He's very kind and gentle with them. And I would love to have another baby, but the fear is stopping me.

What would you do?