Why?!!natural miscarriage yesterday

I woke up this morning to go change my pad and as soon as I realized it wasn't a dream, I cried,again. Me and my husband have been trying for a little over a year now and this would have been our miracle baby. We where so excited. This would have been our second child in 10yrs. My job requires me to move constantly and when I left work yesterday around 5, is when I noticed I was bleeding. There was no pain but just lower back pressure which for me is a normal feeling due to my job. So I went to the hospital and thats where the nightmare happened and the cramping. We lost our baby. I just keep saying "well maybe if I wasn't always stressed out or working so hard"..... "I feel I'm being punished" and "why?!" over and over and over. I'm so sad and depressed right now that I don't even wanna be me.god please!!!!why?! 😢😭