My first husband and I were together 4 years and then I found out he was cheating on me with his best friend...a very large Jamaican man! 

I've been married to my current husband for 3 years, together for 5. I can't help but over analyze everything he does and find myself wondering if he could be gay, too. We have 3 kids together and I'd obviously be devastated. I feel like an absolute moron. Like, how didn't I know those first two times and how can I really be unsure this time? How? I must be incredibly stupid and undeserving of love if two, maybe three men used me and played with my emotions in order to hide their sexual orientation. 

Anyway...idk what I'm hoping to get from this post. I just needed to get that out there.