Venting 💔

This sucks I'm highly in love with my boyfriend. We have been trying for a baby for the past 6 months. And its just not happening. I'm starting to belive that God is punishing me.

2 years ago I got pregnant by the father of my son (my son is 8y and his father and I split up when he was 8 months, and from a one night of stupidness I got pregnant) I hated the fact that I was because me and him weren't nothing we just wanted to fuck to be more blunt about it...

Anywho I hated myself for it I never told anyone about it only him and he hated the fact that I was too. I thought of aborting the baby and stuff but didn't. When I finally thought things through and accepted that it's a God's gift, I went to the ultrasound at 9 weeks I saw it and fell in love 😍. Just to be told that day there was no heart beat 😔 fine I felt I deserved it, carried it dead for 3 more weeks until the baby came out on his own.

No one knew about this ( just the father)....

Now that I am wishing and praying for another baby it's not happening with the man that I love...💔