Overwhelmed!!

So 12 years ago when I tried to get pregnant it seemed like forever and then I just said forget it I am maken myself crazy I quit forcing sex and just went in with my life. After that I become pregnant and I was surprised and shocked how fast it went. I have had three more kids since then and now trying for fifth baby.(we lost our daughter at the age 4) so I have three living boys. Anyhow. I have made myself crazy and think I am just gonna stop agian and let God tell me its time no matter how old I am. Anyhow vent over just wanted to clear my mind. Gl lady's.