Is this an appropriate conversation between friends?

Question

The other day, my husband gets home and tells me a story about how this jr Marine girl that used to work under him texted him to ask if he knew a certain guy he may currently work with. My husband pried and turns out she'd recently slept with the guy and was curious about him because she's smitten. His reason for telling me this story is because prior to this guy, she supposedly hadn't had sex in 5 years. At my disbelief, he went on to show me her Facebook and tell me about her; she's "one of the guys" and they've been friends for a while. Seems like an OK girl but in my husband's words, definitely not a looker.

Yesterday, I glanced over at my husband's phone while he was texting at the grocery store and saw a quick snapshot of her going into some detail with him about the content of her recent sexual escapade with the guy she'd inquired about (nothing explicitly detailed, but divulging a pregnancy scare since she let him not use a condom, claiming the guy had amazing oral skills, cuddled with her all night, etc). Upon being presented with the slight pregnancy scare text, my husband asked her if she had swallowed, if he pulled out, or came inside. I immediately called him out on the conversation in a shocked tone, claiming I thought it was really inappropriate; I myself have always been "one of the guys" to a very deep extent but I can't ever recall speaking like that to one of my guy friends, much less ex-work-superiors-turned-friends. He seemed in disbelief that I'd never done that and the topic was dropped since we had our kids present and were in the middle of shopping. I became really short and impatient with him and he noticed, but that was that. I truly don't think he believes I'm upset over it. He and I communicate amazingly and are just as much friends as we are husband and wife; I don't want to bring it up to him and him feel like he has to censor himself around me.

My question to you guys is... Was that truly inappropriate or am I just being inflexible?

I'm not threatened by this girl at all; I know she'd had a jokingly big crush on my hubs in the past but that went absolutely nowhere.

Accepted Answer

I also think it's highly inappropriate for your husband to be speaking that way to another woman. Regardless if she's "one of the guys" or not she's still a woman who in fact did have a crush on him a while back. I would definitely put a stop to it.

Answer

I was thinking it was an okay conversation until he asked her about swallowing etc. That's when I thought it crossed the inappropriate line.

Answer

Totally inappropriate!! If he was asking her all those questions that's because he is trying to figure out what she is like when she has sex. If she swallowed ...if she spit... She is "one of the guys" for a reason...its because the guys like her! Just because she had feeling for him in the past and nothing happened doesn't mean that things won't or can't happen in the future. It sounds like she is trying to make your man jealous... Especially if she is going on and on about having sex with some other guy...and he is obviously getting very INTERESTED in that subject. He shouldn't be talking about sex with any other girl... Period... Its inappropriate.

Answer

To me, it's inappropriate. I certainly wouldn't allow men outside of my relationship to talk to me about their sexcapades. I certainly wouldn't want other women talking sexcapades with my fiance. It opens too many doors to too many potentials. Just not okay. Whether she's a threat or not. Still inappropriate.

Answer

You don't talk about sex with your guy friend I mean cmon...that shit should be private... & why would he want to know?
I think it's inappropriate

Answer

My best friend is a guy and I would never give him those kind of details nor could I imagine him asking me those questions... again, my BEST FRIEND not just someone  I've ever worked with then turned into friends.

Answer

Her asking about the guy was one thing but there's never a reason for a guy in a relationship to be talking about sex with any woman other than the woman he's with.

Answer

Um my husband is NOT allowed to ask other women friend or not if she swallowed! On a side note my bf was recently blind sided when her husband of 15 years asked her for a divorce he is now living with his quote friend who wasn't a looker either. Just saying I'd be livid and that would be the end of that. But since you are so close with him show him the reply to your post and he should get it real quick. Not to mention the other chick sounds attention desperate that's the only reason you talk to another guy that isn't yours like that sad she needs to get a life.

Answer

My best friend (male) and I talk in great detail about our sex lives if it ever comes up. My SO doesn't care. I don't think it's inappropriate. If she is one of the guys, like he says, then it's normal. I'm "one of the guys" and we always talk like that. There's really no holding back. It's like gossip for men.

Answer

First of all one of the guys", doesn't cut it since she's still a female, and definatly inappropriate to have a conversation or even be texting with her regardless of the excuse. Totally unexceptable.

Is this an appropriate conversation between friends?

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