When to have a baby?

Question

My husband and I have only been married a few months. However, we both really want a baby. But I still want to finish school (I'm going for my RN) and he's not quite where we wants to be in his career either.

Ideally we'd both like to be in our own house (currently renting) and both be settled in careers before we have kids, but some days that seems so far off.

So, who had babies when their lives where all settled and who didn't, and would you change your path if you could?

Answer

As someone who got pregnant three months after marriage, and as a full-time student, here's my advice. Do what you can. I know that doesn't sound terribly helpful, but the thing is, if you want a baby that bad, it's miserable to wait. I'm still finishing school, but I am able to take a full class load, and I pay for my semesters out of pocket. If you can't feasibly have a baby financially, I would definitely wait. Also, experience talking here, make sure you prepare as a couple for the changes your body will make. I was a little crazy for a minute, and I was consistently sick until 26 weeks, where sickness became intermittent instead of constant. That did change things for us. My husband has been very supportive emotionally, and in every area where I have lacked recently. But here's my take overall: I was born to young parents that didn't have a ton. I don't remember that. I remember people who worked hard to make sure I felt safe and loved. I didn't care that my parent's house was a rental. I knew they loved me, I knew I had what I needed, and I watched them work to better themselves my whole life. I learned a lot from that. I'm sorry this is a little ranty, but I'm just saying that it may not be easy, but it's worth it.

Answer

I waited until I was 34 to have a baby but I didn't even want one until then.  We bought our first house at 28, and my husband started his own business that same year.  I worked a lot (at least 12 hours a day and on weekends and holidays) because I was very career focused.  I got a great job at a great company when I was 33. I guess I felt settled, finally, and ready to take the next step.  5.5 years later, I have had 2 babies, 3 any day now, and have doubled my starting salary there.  I don't regret waiting one bit. I wouldn't be where I am now if I wouldn't have waited.  However, I didn't really wait, you know?  I wasn't ready.  I think that you should be financially stable before having children, so that you can afford to provide for them.  If you can say that, and you want kids, I say go for it.  Life is short and you don't want to have regrets as big as this.

Answer

Can't wait till you're 'set up' cause it really never happens lol hubs and I got preg at 5 months married. We're not ready at all.

Answer

My husband and I married in December found out in February I was pregnant. The week before I took my test we had had a long talk about wanting to wait at least a year to try. We have now been married for 3 years and are expecting our second.
While having our daughter so soon in our marriage was not what we had planned (we wanted to be in a more financially stable place where I could stay home with baby and just have taken more time for just the two of us) we wouldn't have changed the way it worked out for the world.
It was definitely an adjustment for us and we did have to work harder but I think it helped us to push even harder. When I got pregnant my husband had just started working at the golf course and I was working full time in retail. My husband is now Director of Operations at his course and I am able to stay home with our daughter. 
I know people who have waited for that 'perfect time' and it's come too late. So while you can wait for the perfect time you can also make the time perfect when it does happen with a little work.

Answer

Wait so that you don't have the stress of buying a home or starting a career while TTC. Then you'll be able to focus just on each other and the baby!

Answer

We waited 4 years and got our home established and talked about our parenting philosophies before getting pregnant... That has taken a lot of stress off of our relationship knowing we are on the same.page from schooling, discipline, circumcision or no circumcision, religion... Great conversations to have... I dont think we woyld have the same relationship today if we got pregnant right away...

Answer

We decided to wait until he was close to finishing school he just graduated with his masters in early may (i was 14 weeks along) 
We aren't concerned about purchasing a home until he his further in his career and we have a really good down payment.

Answer

The only conditions I put on ttc was a house. We are renting right now with the option for contract for deed after a year. I just told SO that our appartment was way to small for the three of us and our cat and dog so if he wanted to make it four he better get on looking for a house. We moved in a week later.

Answer

My husband and i have been together for 10 years (married for 3 of them) i wanted to wait until we were married, we had our own house and our vehicles paid off. We did all that and im so happy we waited. Im 26 years old and my husband is 31. We now have our baby girl. 
Waiting until your "settled" is not for everyone. But i will say my friend is 18 and she had her baby the same time i did and her life is so hectic. I couldve never handled having a baby if i was still in school or living with my parents

When to have a baby?

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