Am I selfish?

Question

I'm only 14 but I have a boyfriend and I know I'm probably too young but I feel as though I love him and my whole world depends on him. Well, a month ago today he was really down and you know what boys are like, they don't like to admit they're in pain.  When he got home he apparently told his mum he was having really bad headaches. Then he had a seizure. The ambulance came and took him to our local hospital and he had an emergency CT and he had bleeding in the brain. He got rushed to specialised neurological hospital and had an operation. Then was put in a coma. 2 weeks ago, they woke him up but he wasn't fully awake, his eyes were open but he didn't talk. They figured out he has lost a lot of brain cells so has brain damage but they don't know what kind. He is no longer in a coma but isn't responding. He had to have a trocheatomy last weekend but got it taken out a few days ago. Luckily, they think he's going to live. I went to see him on Wednesday and he looked so skinny and helpless I couldn't help but cry. I knew he could hear me but I had to leave. His best friend was there and I was such a mess I had to leave.

The thing is, in Surrey (which is about 4 hours away) there's a special recovery hospital which means he could recover quickly or he could go to the local hospital and recover during a long period. I know that his life would be so much better if he went to Surrey, and I'm only a high school girlfriend, but am I selfish to want him to go to the local hospital so he and his whole family don't move 4 hours away? Tbh, I just need him to be okay. Even if he doesn't remember who I am and can't walk or talk, I will still love him but I want him to stay here.

Answer

Oh my gosh, this is heartbreaking. You are a great girlfriend. It is not selfish to not want him to be 4 hours away, but you also want him to get the best care possible, even though it's hard. I'm so sorry.

Answer

Well I wouldn't say selfish is the right word but think about it logically.

He can go to the local hospital, not recover properly, maybe end up with more bleeding, another coma and death. 
Or
The proper specialising hospital 4 hours away, recover, stay alive to love you.

What would you want?

Answer

You're not selfish, you just want to be close to him. It's understandable. However, if he has a better chance of living, he needs to go to the hospital 4 hours away. I'm so sorry. You're so young to be going through all of this. He's very lucky to have a girlfriend who cares about him so much.

Answer

Years back the guy I was with at the time and I were hit by a drunk driver. He was hurt much worse than I was, they put him in a coma and did some of thnot surgeries before they realized it was borderline more than they could handle. It was a choice of his mom choosing to send him up state or keep him where he was, she kept him where he was "for convinence" and said make due with what was there. He died because of it. I always knew she was mom and what she says goes, but I still hold this little flame of anger towards her for not choosing the best for him. It would have been so hard to be so far away from him when I wanted to be there right with him, but 4 hours is a lot closer than heaven,

Answer

I know how it feels to have someone you love have a brain injury. My dad fell 12 feet and shattered his skull. He had a brain bleed and swelling, they put him in a coma and he was hazy when he woke up to. It's okay to be selfish when something so sad happens but he needs you to be strong for him. I think it's okay to not want him to go far away but really brain injurys are so serious he needs the best help he can get, the faster he gets better, the easier it is on you and his family. Just a fare warning, he won't be the same person he was. At least with my dad hes not. But the best thing to do is stand by his side and support him because he might not be showing it but it will be very hard for him. I wish you the best of luck sweetie. If you ever need to talk you have a glowing community behind you waiting to help 😊😊

Answer

Not selfish, but it's illogical...you want him to get better as fast as possible. The way he is its just more pain for everyone for even longer than necessary. Let him heal up fast and then you'll truly have him back with you as opposed to just part of him for a long time.

Am I selfish?

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