Venting- Sex and Labor TMI

I'm 39w today, 1 cm dilated with a soft cervix...and haven't had sex with hubby for maybe a few weeks. I really don't want to have sex since my vagina is swollen, a bit painful and I'm just not in the mood because I feel like a cow...but I want my baby girl out already. I feel miserable. I walk daily, eat dates, climb stairs, etc etc etc. except sexy time. I've read semen ripens your cervix so I asked hubby if he can whack it and just insert in me when he's about to orgasm haha I know it's ridiculous but I sort of got offended when he said No and that he would rather have sex with me. I mean Cmon man I know you masturbate, just call me when you're almost there..it's almost like sex 😩 I just want to pop out the closet when he's in the room masturbating and have him jizz in a cup for me Hahahah but it will most likely scare him. Anyway, we will try later and see how it goes....Hoping for results. Lol