has everyone lost their minds or am I over reacting

Apologies for the length of this now. Ok the craziness has been building for a while now. Ok my brother in law brings his side arm with him I guess every where. I live in an open carry state. I have not approved of this since I noticed it around the time I became pregnant with my last child in 2013. It seems rude and pointless to just carry a loaded gun to a family event such as Christmas dinner at grandma's who very much lives in a decent country rural area. Anyway, things have escalated into a direction I never fathom would happen. He has 4 boys and the oldest is 16 and the youngest in kindergarten. On thanksgiving this year my brother in law thought it would be ok if his 16 yr old carried a loaded revolver on his hip at the family gathering at grandmas house. Now I had my 2 and 1/2 yr old running around, my two oldest boys and one girlfriend in tow (boys from previous marriage, important info for later), and I'm 4 months pregnant. We were all there for some turkey and last I checked it was already dead, no threats, and no zombie threats lurking around. Somehow probably cause I sat down in the living room and didn't move cause I felt like crap, I didn't see the gun slinging 16 yr old but everyone else did, kids, sons gf, and hubby and no one clued me in or we would have left right then and there. My husband lightheartedly inquired about wtf is my nephew carrying a loaded gun and the brothers responded with he can do what he wants(angerly). Now when I got home all of this came out. My boys mentioned the craziness to their dad who proceeded to hand me my butt on a platter as would have I if the situation was reversed. And I told my husband this is no longer tolerable. So he spoke with his mom who honestly acted like a 5 yr old when we said no guns or no Christmas dinner for us as I will not have my kids exposed to such irresponsible people and the risk, though low many will argue, of being a victim of a neglectful discharge. So his mom talked to the brother who in her words just wasn't listening which sent me into mommy action mode and I said we will not be at Christmas dinner then. Now I'm hated because I'm just looking out for my kids. Oh I forgot to mention there are his brothers kids including the kindergarten aged boy who is more than curious of things that are not his and is rambunctious so accident waiting to happen also about 8 other grandkids running and walking about so not really an ideal place for an armory. So anyway his mom hates me for being a responsible parent which is messed up but not surprised based on some other issues. Also it's all or nothing when it comes to the guns. I said we won't be there if either the parent or child has a firearm loaded or not. As I can no longer offer a good faith trust in a gun owner that would willingly had a loaded revolver to a child only to prove a point. Hunters don't get for panties in s bunch, im not talking about how y'all take sons/daughters out hunting. Hand guns are designed to kill people and don't belong one at the thanksgiving table if anything out of respect of the matriarch and patriarch of the family and also it's just not warranted. Anyway my brother in law has lost my trust in his ability to be a responsible gun owner and therefore willnot place my kids in the path of harms way. Also his dad is "talking" to him to see if he can have him keep his guns at home or at least in the car but there is no spines in this family so I doubt it will happen. Oh and a 16 yr old cannot be in possession of a firearm off of private property so to just drive I point home of the level of crazy, my brother in law has to drive to the grandparents with two guns on his hip only to pass one to his son after he got inside, then take the gun back on the brother in laws hip for the journey home. So to me this is all a show of dickdom. Anyway am I being unreasonable? Would y'all allow your kids to be around this situation?  I saidto my  husband that we will go up on Christmas eve to visit with his family and if he wants to go to the dinner he can but myself and the kids will stay home. Am I wrong? Should I lighten up?