dealing with sexual assault
About 6 months ago a man that I trusted sexually assaulted me. He tried a few more times but I made it clear that if it happened again I would tell.
He has a family and they would be devastated.
I don't think he would do it to anyone else.
I'm just really struggling to deal with it at times and I'm always telling myself that it was my fault, that I shouldn't be too friendly to people because they could think that I'm interested, even though it wasn't
. Up until last week I hadn't told anyone, but I had a few drinks with a really close friend and told her. I don't think she believed me, she even told me that it was ok because it wasn't rape. I felt disgusting before telling my secret, now I just feel so ashamed of myself, like it's all my fault. If my friend told people (even though she promised she wouldn't) nobody would believe me.
Before it happened me and my boyfriend were going fine, but now I don't even want him to touch me (even though he has done nothing wrong) we have had sex 2 times in the past 6 months, and I did not enjoy it.
I no longer want to even be with him.
Does anyone have any ways to deal with this kind of stuff on their own? I know time heals most things, I just want to speed it up.
Xxx
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