Am I being unreasonable?

Question

Ladies, I need some outside opinions.

My husband's aunt has graciously offered to throw a baby shower for me - something I didn't expect but am very grateful for.

Aunt is very set on having my husband's grandmother attend the shower. Again, not a problem until you realize that his grandmother will be out of town for weeks 35-40 of my pregnancy. This was a planned trip and was a surprise to no one.

The problem comes with timing. We are now 20 days away from when grandma leaves town and no invites have been sent. A date has supposedly been picked, but I'm not sure when exactly it is. I'm guessing some family knows, but none of my friends do and I feel like this is no longer a party for me & my baby. Part of me doesn't even want to go.

Am I being unreasonable? Any suggestions on what I can do to just be at peace with this?

Answer

You (or your husband) needs to contact the aunt NOW, get the date (if there is one), & let her know that you're telling your friends to save the date. If there is no date, tell her it needs to be set now or occur after grandma leaves in order to give guests appropriate notice.

Answer

Can you just contact the aunt and ask her the date?

Answer

At this point, I would start planning another baby shower to be attended by your friends at a later date.  If she wants to throw you a baby shower before that for the family she is able to contact herself (including his grandmother) than great...but that is way too short of notice for you to be sure most of your friends can attend.  Before doing this, I would check with her and make sure that his grandmother has to attend her party--if she relents, and allows the party to take place without his gm (knowing full well she has been procastinating) than you can still allow her to throw it for you.  You aren't being unreasonable at all.  Good luck!

Answer

I'd ask what the date is. But honestly i probably wouldn't attend on such short notice. Assuming you don't have a registery yet so there's no telling what you want/need. Then all the planning,etc. it's just a short notice. Maybe you can have a small one for just that part of the family but have a bigger one with your friends and other family.

Answer

I understand. But if your hubby's aunt is organizing everything. Well, then offer to help to make things go smoothly. If Its a disaster well then so be It. Not your fault. You can always organize another one later

Answer

I would just bring up your concerns to his aunt in a polite and grateful manner.

Answer

Speak up. Get involved

Answer

Something simliar happened to me i went anyway and my. Mil who begged to plan it said oh i didnt know it was happening today when i showed up it was insulting and embarrassing considering i didnt want a baby shower. Also the prior week she was asking about stuff i need for the baby complained about the price then said im throwing you a shower isnt that enough. And while she got things on my list they were all free and rickety like the bassinet squelled when rolls lists to one side and when she was in it for half a second wobbled so bad it was dangerous. Yet im supposed to be amazed and grateful. I would have rather got nothing. Or gift cards to get diapers or formula necessitates.

Answer

I had 2 people offer to throw mine. Nothing was being done, neither person contacted the other. I got tired of it and took over one friend did end up helping but the cousin only kept saying she would but never did anything but act offended when I did what she said she would do a week prior.

Answer

Are you sure invites are not out and that they're just trying to have some kind of surprise aspect for you and the shower?

Like you know there will be a shower, but do you know all details?

Am I being unreasonable?

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