What are you like with your MIL?

Question

What's your relationship like with your MIL? Mine is always trying to "bond" with me and tbh its really annoying. Like when me and my DH go and visit ,him and his dad will go do guy stuff and leave me to "girl time" with her.  I'm currently pregnant with DH's first and she is SO OVERBEARING. He also wants her there for everything. The moment we arrive at the hospital till we leave and then even have her there at home to help afterwards. I'm the type I want my mom there and he doesn't understand that my mom gets different "privileges" because it's MY mom. I'm just a "to myself" kind of person. I really wanted this pregnancy/hospital stay/ first few weeks at home to be private with maybe just my mom as a visitor because I'm the most comfortable around her so I could have that special bonding time that I did not get to have with my first because EVERYONE would not stop showing up. She even made the comment one time "well if you want to rest and everyone is there we'll just take the baby and go somewhere else" I gave her that wtf look. I feel as if I have no say whatsoever and made out to be selfish. I don't know what to do at this point.

Answer

My mother in law and I had a great relationship till she suddenly passed away in Sept. Shewas so excited for our baby, it would have been her first grand child. At the funeral everyone kept telling how excited she was.  I'm sad that our baby will never get a chance to know her. So when I see other complain about their mother in law (which you are entitled to do so) it makes me cringe.

Answer

Oh girl, we're in the same boat. The only difference is I've only met my MIL one time...that visit ended with her starting an argument with my husband which led to her making extremely rude comments about me. I understand they are grandmas to our children just like our moms are but the difference is we're the ones giving birth! If we aren't comfortable with them in the room or smothering us after giving birth then they should respect that and give us our space. Mine is trying to show up days before my scheduled induction and wants to stay for a week afterward, keeps asking if she can bring a puppy and random people! I literally want to get a hotel room and just stay there, just my daughter and myself at this point lol.

Answer

I see a grandma who is excited and wants to be involved. I'm sorry but no a lot of people have that support so I would cherish it. If you want space then say so but remember your mom is no more entitled to the child then his mom. Be upfront and honest with her.

Answer

I wish!!!! My EX mother in law and sister in law found Christmas Eve as the perfect opportunity to gang me! So needless to say she didn't care for me at all. My bfs mother loves her ex daughter in law(his ex wife) so she opted not to meet me. Consider yourself BLESSED. I could only dream of having that kind of relationship with my mother in law.

Answer

I've met my MIL once and we don't speak a common language. We spent some time together but after a while, gave up and spent time in companionable silence. My own mother was not supportive of my pregnancy and our relationship has suffered. I'd recommend you count your blessings that you have two women who want to play an active role.

Answer

Future MIL and I get along really great. We found what we have in common and I'm always interested in her projects and what she gets herself involved in. It took effort to win her heart in the beginning, but I feel like if I had a problem with anything she was doing, I can be straight up with her and I know she would have respect for that.

Answer

My mil gets no say in what goes on with my children , the way I raise them and certainly not what's going to happen at the hospital after delivery...  In the same regard my mother doesn't either ... I have a different more open attitude when it comes to my parents because they obviously raised me and I've had a lifetime to trust and love them.  Especially when having a baby it's about who makes you comfortable.  It's not a competition.  When your husband gives birth then he can have his mama do everything... however this is your time . I'm sure you will allow her plenty of access of said baby , but she needs to take a seat relax and follow your lead...

Answer

I think you are being a little unfair..but if you want to make sure you get plenty of alone bonding time with you LO, make a schedule for visitors, and pass it out to everyone who may want to visit you in the first couple of weeks.  You really have to allow her to come and spend time with you and the baby, but it doesn't need to be constant.  Be very polite about it, and tell everyone who you want to keep from coming too much that the first couple weeks is an important time for Mommy-baby bonding, and you want to keep from letting yourself become overwhelmed with visitors.  That's your right and your choice.  Good luck.

Answer

I love my MIL!! She is super chill and down to earth. I think she even like me better than her own son lol. Before my husband and I moved we had to stay with her. She wasn't nosey or overbearing or naggy. She knew we needed our space. My own mom isn't that chill. She knew we needed the help and didn't hold it over our heads. We would do anything for her. I'm very lucky in the MIL department.

Answer

I wish my mother in law tried even a little to bond with me. She didn't like me from day one. She still don't like me 10 years later but we are civil to each other because my daughter loves her grandmother.

What are you like with your MIL?

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