ladies that have been cheated on?

Question

How long did it take you to move on and trust your so again if you chose to stay with them?

I'm having a hard time and I know it isn't an oh your sorry okay I'm over it now. My so knows it will take time. But he completely doesn't get that now that the trust  has been broken he needs to really work on earning my trust back. I don't want to say all trust is gone. I trust that he will look after me or make sure I'm safe. But I'm so wary of what he does it makes me second guess myself. I want to think that's normal since I'm still trying to move on. It wasn't any physical cheating, just stuff online. I know apps and the internet aren't the problem and that he shouldn't get rid of them because he's the problem.

Answer

It took me about a month of weekly couples counseling to get back to a tiny resemblance of the relationship we had before. It's hard because it consumes you, whereas your guy just wants to forget it and move on. And you can't keep bringing it up b/c they'll just feel like shit, but you need to talk about it too. Months after you start thinking about it less and less, but when you do think about it your entire mood changes and you might be bitter and say snide remarks. Deep down they know it still bothers you, but that just told me I need a better way of bringing up what's bothering me rather than keeping it all inside (but also not making him feel like crap). The positive that came out of it is you really start working on your relationship and your realize you're a team. When one fails you both fail. And if you're both into maki it work, you'll come out stronger.

Answer

I always moved on quickly but thats because zi never stayed. Once I feel my trust is betrayed like that I leave. Regardless. I couldn't ever stay in a relationship with someone who I know has done that to me. I am worth more than that. Always have been, always will be - and if a man decides to test that theory then its their loss.

Answer

It's hard to say in my case.. my ex husband cheated on me ALL the time. I tried to pretend like it wasn't happening so it was more of denial than moving on. I finally got up the courage and left him. No one deserves to be cheated on.

Answer

Although, I'm not sure how ones trust is earned again. It takes a long time for you yourself to feel enotional strong and sure enough to trust him again. He has to be patient and realize that his mess up is the reason you feel the way you do. A lot of communication is needed.

Answer

The first year he messed around on me all the time. And I told him it's that or me and he choose me but we always had small problems here and there with it. It's 3 years later and I'm just now trusting him. I trust him more than ever but I still have my moments. Mostly if he goes out with friends to the bars it's usually an argument. But he doesn't do it often. Other than that I trust him. It sounds shitty and it probably is but we do love each other and doing what we can to actually make it work. And that's honestly our only problem in our relationship and we haven't had an argument about it in idk how long now. People change if they want to. And he did. But it just takes a long time to trust someone again.

Answer

I've stayed. You have to truly forgive, as in never bring it up again. I found my husband and his best friend's wife in a highly questionable scenario, with her panties off in our pool. She said she was just trying to get him to skinny dip with her (apparently her and her husband used to do this a lot with friends). Although I don't know for sure anything happened and I never will, I chose to forgive them both, trust when they say nothing happened, and move on. I have never brought it up since then and I even had her as a bridemaid in our wedding a few years later. If you say you've forgiven him, do so, and work on building your relationship up. I fully admit that it was extremely hard to be intimate with him after that for a few months. Push through it!

Answer

If you choose to stay, you need to choose to forgive him. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison, hoping he'll die. You'll only end up bitter. Remember that we're all imperfect and make mistakes.

ladies that have been cheated on?

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