My sex life

I was sexually assaulted in 2015 and I feel like sex will never be normal for me. When I'm having sex with my boyfriend I really don't feel any pleasure  whatsoever. I do feel closer to him but  The penetration itself makes me feel neutral. And I always fake an orgasm because I'm too scared to tell him. I'm not telling him any of this because I don't want him to feel like he's not pleasing me, which he is, but sex is just not something I cant enjoy anymore. I've had sex with two other guys after the assault and I felt the exact same way. I don't know how to make sex enjoyable myself..  I really don't :(  btw therapy is not helping me either