boyfriend won't give head

So originally my boyfriend was so eager to eat me out it was ridiculous. Like he would literally beg to do it earlier in our relationship but I always got nervous and chickened out. As of now he's done it like three times (complete guess but somewhere near this) and the first time he didn't really get the right part and we also didn't have much time, and the two other times the awkwardness of me not knowing how to guide him got the best of me and I kind of chickened out. All three were really short tho. Later I asked him to do it and he wouldn't, and also wouldn't  tell me why. I kept asking and guessing things, like I asked if it was uncomfortable for him and he said no, or if he thought my vagina  was gross or something, and he still said no. Finally he told me that he wouldn't because he didn't like the taste. This honestly really hurt my feelings... like I don't like the taste of his dick but I don't refuse to give him head because of it (though I do it really rarely). I told him it hurt my feelings and he got sad about it because he didn't want to do that, he's normally really loving with my body and stuff, like he's waiting so long for sex because I said I wasn't ready. Anyway I've offered to groom my area better or clean it if it's dirty or something (Idek) but he said he doesn't want me to shave or change anything and I'm so confused. I asked him again today like, "ill give you head if you give me head" and he said he would think about it and we just sat cuddling for a while and I was like so is that a no? And he said no I'll think about it more and u asked him again a few minutes later and he finally said "yeah I guess it's a no". UGH. I don't get it. Is it gross down there and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings? I'm so confused cuz he'll like lick my butthole (I can't think of any less explicit way to say that lol) but not give head?? Am I being a baby about all this? I just want him to make me orgasm for once because we haven't had sex yet, and he rarely even touches me down there... he mostly just focuses on my chest and neck. It's really just making me self conscious and feel shitty about myself because I don't "taste good"... and now I know what to tell him to do and I kind of wanted to do this before we have sex... I don't know I just need help. Any advice?