I'll be honest.

I'm jealous of everyone on here. You guys all happy & posting pictures of us.... I lost my first baby at 17 weeks due to an abnormality. Now I was trying for a year & gave it a break for about 6 months & now me (& my fiancé of almost a year) have decided to start trying to have a family, this is cycle #3. Due to her having body and gender issues when the pregnancy topic come up, it falls on me to bare (bear?) the babies...which is fine. I so badly want to be pregnant. So much so that every little twitch or pull from my body makes me think maybe I am.... I got my hopes up last cycle due to being 2 1/2 weeks late on my period (stress). Then my younger sister (17) tells me she is now 8 1/2 weeks along. So now I admit, and post anonymous in shame, I am jealous of EVERY pregnant woman out there (not in a mean way, I love ya all) but it's hard. I so much need someone to say it's ok to feel this way. My fiancé says it's ok to be upset but I shouldn't be jealous. I can't help it. Congratulations to all though, I am proud of every one of you. Just needed to vent..  ps- tomorrow is 4 weeks so I'll be testing & 2 days after is af is due so hopefully she doesn't show:)