Please help I'm falling apart

I had a miscarriage last year. Ever since then we been trying again. We had hsg done everything was good. We had sperm count done he has great swimmers. We took clomid for three months. Nothing nothing at all. This month the day my period was about to start I felt tired and I peed and wiped and there was pink just on the tissue and same the next few days. And that was it. I thought this is it implantation bleeding. 5 days later after it stopped still bfn. I never got cramps. I never bleed. And my period is passed since I started that spotting on only tissue the day my period was due. And it lasted like 5 1/2. I would pee like 10 times a day 6 out of those 10 times I wiped very very light pink. By my tests are stark obvious bfn. The uncertainty and heart wrecking false hope this has given me is killing me. I feel like I'm fucking loosing it I'm crying now and depressed like fuck. There's isn't a change I'm still preg right? Why did I spot and no period I have never spotted in my life I feel so broken right now.......