Why can't I?

So mothers day is coming up. My mom and dad will send me money of course like they usually do. There is a growing list of things I need. Notice I said NEED, not want. So many things. I'm sitting here spending the money I don't have yet in my head. And guess what?! It will go to my kids. Why can't I just be selfish one day out of the year? I love them to death. And they are constantly growing but why can't I force myself to put my needs ahead for once? Total selfless mom life 😩😧

Had to get it out. Sorry 😅