i want to die lmao

Long sad rant. Dont bother reading, theres no point to anything. Lots going on and at this point I'm not sure who to talk to. A guy at my school died in a car crash a few days ago. I didn't know him nearly as much as i wanted to but he was always nice to me and all my friends were best friends with him so i considered him a friend. There was a candle light vigil for him tonight and basically i cried for 3 hours straight. Then i took my friends home and i sat in the parking lot and thought. There is a lot of shit going on. Mentally I'm all over the place (anxiety/depression-wise), my dad's leg got super infected now and he can arely move so i take care of him while my mom is at work. My grandmother is having brain surgery next week and I'm not sure if she'll make it. My boyfriend is a wreck because of Wesley dying (wesley was his best friend) and so are most of my friends who knew him tbh, i can't turn to god because when shit like this happens i can't believe in a god that punishes people for no reason and kills great people for no reason. My other friend is apparently having a bad night and normally i try to help as best i can but this time he decided to say he's fine then call himself a disappointment then say he's fine then snapped me a picture of him on a roof saying something about it being high or jumping. Then act like im overreacting when i call him and freak the fuck out because anxiety and i've already lost someone, i really dont want to lose another. I have gotten abouthalf the amount or less of sleep that i need because of various reasons and I'm honestly starting to hallucinate. I have work tomorrow and a dentist appointment and i just don't want to deal with anything I'm done I'm fucking done i just want to die and i don't know what to do i really just want to kms