Razor bumps/ingrown hairs

I've been shaving for years, I've started waxing for a while but stopped. I'm just trying to get tips or advice on how to get rid of or avoid razor bumps. I feel so insecure about my vagina because I have razor bumps and ingrown hair on my bikini line and on my vagina and I can't get rid of them it makes me feel so insecure and not normal! Also on top of that I have a fat cat I'm not really I big girl but since I had my son I hate the way my vagina looks, so also any advice on how to change that or loose vagina fat? Am I the only one who has these problems?!