once a cheat always a cheat?.

Question

So around 3 weeks ago I found out my partner of 11 years cheated on me. (I thought everything was fine).
He went on a stag do abroad, had a one night stand with a girl then continued that affair when he got back home. He works away Monday-Friday. I found out he had met up with her 4 more times since the stag do, twice at the pub and twice he paid for a hotel and they slept together again. 
Anyway the only reason I found out was because we went to a wedding and I decided to drive so he could drink, we got back did the deed he fell to sleep and his phoned beeped..it was around 1am
So I looked, so I glad I did!. The said girl had sent him a picture of my Facebook profile with questions marks as if I was the other girl!!!. 
I confront him the next day he lies about who she is where he met her etc etc. Fortunately for me i new in my head something didnt add up I got her number and she told me everything!. Every last detail.

He tells me he loves me it was one big mistake he did it for the thrill nothing else. We have a 9 year old child together, and only brought a house together 8months ago. 
I love the bloke and I feel so stupid and like an idiot for not telling him to leave. 
Has anyone else ever found out there partner had cheated and stayed around and it's worked out? Or does everyone think I should show him the door?. 
No nasty comments please my head is messed up enough. 
X

Update:
I'm still with him...not sure why, I must really love the bloke, and I'm trying to block everything out my head but it's so hard!. 
All that's going through my head is, was she better in bed than me!, did you actually have feelings for her!, do you still want to sleep with her!. 
(Bearing in mind we had a very healthy sex life, it wasn't like he wasn't getting it)
Does this get any easier!!? Anyone who has been in the same boat?. 😩😩

Accepted Answer

A one time thing is one time. He met up with her SEVERAL times. I'd walk away while you have some dignity.

Answer

It's different for everyone. My first boyfriend cheated on me and I was so angry and upset. I was stupid and forgave him but he never stopped talking/flirting to the woman he cheated on me with. (That is the only time I would ever asked someone to stop talking to someone) and after I forgave him, he was flirting with other girls and saying he was single. 
So I ended up cheating on him with his best friend and I dated his best friend for almost 2 years. I left him because he got abusive. 
Now I'm with my best friend who treats me like a queen and I would never cheat on him. I've always been loyal to him and that's not going to change. 
So I WAS a cheater. But I'm not anymore. So I don't believe the "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying. Because it's not the same for everyone.

Answer

He deliberately cheated on you FOUR times, five counting the time they meet. He planned to meet up with her--that is deliberate and not a one time mistake.

Staying with him would be ridiculous.

Answer

I didn't read past the "Met up with her 4 times more" I don't know about once a cheat always a cheat, but I couldn't forgive and forget that. I would be gone. Sorry he put you through that 🙁

Answer

Girl this was not a one time thing. He was gonna still be fucking with her if you didn't find out. Id kick his cheating lyin ass out. Plus she DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT YOU. Some bullshit.

Answer

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a similar experience with my now husband.. although we were teenagers at the time. He cheated, several times and I suspected something was up so took matter into my own hands to find out. We ended up splitting for about 6 months and then got back together. I am very confident that he's never cheated since. We are now.married with a son and trying for another baby. the split in our relationship ship did us wonders. My thoughts are that some people can and do change. but ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust him again? since there is a child involved, I hope you guys are able to work things out! best of luck!!

Answer

My god I'm so sorry to read this. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. It's good that you caught him out and I know you have a lot to lose by ending a relationship this long so I will just say what I would do if I was in your position. I would end it. Immediately. It's not like it was even just a drunken mistake because he pursued it and carried it in. Personally I wouldn't even stay if it was just once. But to carry it on is just even worse. You're worth more than that. I know that if it was me I wouldnt be able to forgive or forget.

Answer

Idk if they're always a cheat. My ex cheated on me & once he saw how hurt I was he decided it's really not worth it. A few years later I ran into him & he said he hadn't done anything since then because of how broken he felt that he had hurt me that badly. It honestly all depends on how much the guy really gives a shit & truly has remorse.

Answer

Once I found my boyfriend in a hotel with my (ex)best friend.. yea that was hard but I forgave him.. anyway I would say YES ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER. Honestly I don't believe in monogami anymore but life it's so hard without him I can't leave him right now :((

Answer

Leave baby !

once a cheat always a cheat?.

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