Career vs boyfriend????

Sorry this is lengthy, but it's all been tormenting me for a few months now so I've had a lot of time to think about what I need to say ✌🏼

I'm a sophomore in college and getting into med school has been my dream since I was a little kid. I've been in a few serious and not so serious relationships, but after ending an emotionally abusive relationship after my first fall semester of college, I began working on myself and my motivation and self sufficiency really flourished. I had the opportunity to learn to love myself, so when I met my current boyfriend and fell very in love very fast, I knew I was ready to sincerely love and be loved.

Very quickly into the relationship, I realized that I'm not so driven when I'm with someone vs when I'm single. I end up using all of my energy to boost them up and show them their potential, which results in me getting off track of my own goals and breeding this resentment towards them for distracting me.

My boyfriend is the most amazing person I have ever met. He is so respectful and constantly points out everything he thinks I should love about myself. He compliments my brain as much as my appearance. I can be a temperamental lady and I suffer from sometimes very severe anxiety, but he has never faltered from being my rock. He is so considerate and compassionate. He treats me like I am everything, I trust him entirely, and he is my bestest friend in the whole world. We talk about getting married and starting a life together A LOT and have since the beginning of the relationship. We both just knew.

If I let him go, I don't think I would ever stop loving him and I honestly have never came even close to seeing myself marry anyone else.

Yet, at the same time, I know that if I want to achieve my dream of being an emergency physician, I'm better off being alone. I don't think I would ever forgive myself if I didn't succeed, because I was too busy tending to the success of another.

My boyfriend has always been supportive of my goals, but I still don't feel that he's reached the same level of seriousness about school that I've been trying to harness for a while now. I honestly feel like taking a break might be beneficial, but I feel like my boyfriend would see it as me labeling him as a burden and, due to his own personal issues, I don't think that's something he would ever forgive me for.

What the hell am I supposed to do?