does my SO expect too much of me????

Question

my LO is 10 days old and I'm having trouble appreciating my SO and what he does to help. the reason why I'm having such a hard time is because of the things he says/expects of me with a newborn. I am currently in debt and so rely on him for grocery money, and now that the baby is here I need his help with gas/insurance/etc . I make dinner and his lunches every day because im scared that if I say I can't than he will think I'm incapable and not pitching in . I don't think he realizes how hard it is to have a newborn and the sleep deprivation that goes along with it. it's only been 10 days since my LO arrived and he already gets frustrated if I make little mistakes (leave a diaper out). The hardest part is that he expects me to start working right away so I can pay for my own expenses. I am also finishing my last year of university. I just feel like he expects too much of me and I feel inadequate if I can't do the things he expects. I want to do all these things (dont get me wrong) but its overwhelming to have the expectation right after a newborn has arrived. Does he expect too much of me or is this reasonable?

Answer

..... did he think a baby wouldnt change anything,? did you discuss what would be happening when baby gets here? your baby is only 10 days old, you need to have a break.  you need to recover still from pushing a human out of your body lol

Answer

Ummm you need to sit down with him NOW and explain that you're not cleared to do ANYTHING for six weeks. Explain to him that either he steps up and does the bare minimum (meaning leave you the fuck alone at least) or you'll go stay with your mother or someone else. He needs to grow up.

Answer

I think you both should have discussed what having a baby woukd be like ahead if time, or during the 9 months of pregnancy so he knew what to expect. men dont always fully understand and without our communication its even harder.

Answer

Yes, he is expecting way to much. My husband was like this when my son was first born and to be honest 4 months later and I hold some resentment towards him for how he treated me. If I could go back I would have talked more. Maybe divided up what we felt like was a fair amount of work for each of us. Back then I completely stopped doing everything for him and we got into a lot of arguments over it. At the end of the day though I am a mother to my son, not him.

Answer

It sounds like he  clefts too much period, LO or not. You need to ask yourself is this the kind of relationship you want because it does not sound like a partnership at all.

Answer

My question is what is HE doing to help with the baby? Presumably it's his baby too and if he watched the baby for a day or two he'd realize that raising a newborn is more than a full time job. You don't get evenings and weekends off. Honestly I'd tell him to make his own damn lunch and tell him if he wants every single diaper put away he can be in charge of changing them and putting them away himself.

Answer

Did you apply for EDD? So you can at least have some money for 6 weeks? You can also apply for FMLA and that's another 6 weeks paid. Don't rush into going back to work because he says so. Have a talk with him and tell him how you feel; I would make his ass be with the baby all day so he knows what it's like. Because being a mom is hard and takes time to get used too. Goodluck momma you got this ❤️

Answer

I know this is EXACTKY how my SO will be and I'm terrified. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this

does my SO expect too much of me????

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey