Life doesn’t seem to be worth living

I’ve just split up with my ex partner few weeks ago as he was abusive. I fell for guy but he doesn’t want a relationship just fun fair enough but I still fallen for him he knows this. He isn’t British btw. I was sneaking out at early hours to be with him. We both live with our parents so it hard for us to actually have sex as he doesn’t like car sex so he says. He told me tonight he couldn’t see me no more as he wanted more from me etc sex. Of course I cried he tried me to explain my feelings but the thing is I have problems expressing how I feel inside and hard for me to talk I have learning difficulties. I also have Depression. I’ve recently lost my Auntie in April and I haven’t been right since she left us. I feel upset because I have fallen for this guy and I’m think how have I let myself fall for this guy it’s like I don’t have feelings for my ex but have grown feelings for this guy instead. All I wanted to have fun be with this guy. I know my Mum would probably wouldn’t happy if she’s knew as he isn British at all he works in a Kabab shop. Yeah keep attracting them whenever I go lol.. Everytime I get upset or someone upsets me or break my heart like I have tonight I sucide comes into my head! I have an appointment to see a mental health team but it’s not till next month..