Ok I have to get this off my chest

So I’ve been married for about a year now I’ve been knowing my husband for about four years now Are relationship has been very difficult! I’ve been having a sugar daddy for about six years now i’ve never kissed him or have sex with him in my life I don’t even see him when he gives me money he just sends it in a check he obviously thinks were going to be together sooner or later he is currently still giving me money and my husband does not know finally my sugar daddy told me everything has to come to an end because he doesn’t see us getting together ever and I am completely devastated I don’t know why I am so used to him giving me money I have no feelings for him at all I love my husband but he doesn’t give me a lot of money I don’t feel secure with him i’m a stay home mom I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant and I am just sitting here devastated thinking about the future me and my husband agreed that I was not going to work and I was gonna stay home with the kids I am very scared for my future and I am very mad at myself for depending on a man like this and being this scared about financial stuff i’m not even going to try to convince my sugar daddy to still give me money I don’t want to get caught so in a way I do think this is the best thing that could happen but then again I’m devastated now I feel like I have to work ladies please give me your thoughts and I understand if I get judged