What the hell do I do?

My ex M and his ex girlfriend J decided to ruin my life and drive me to suicide when my dad died. His ex girlfriend J could curse me out and push me around and take his phone and insult me, so I ended up ignoring her and he would blame me if I communicated effectively and told him that she disrespected me. She'd curse me out call me a bitch, a fat cunt and tell me fuck you all the time. So I ended up blocking her and she'd take his phone to try and drive me to suicide. He'd try to gas light me by saying that I'm the crazy one and the schizo but J could curse me out and threaten to fight me and even though she was the ex she'd fucking try to tell him to leave me and read my texts. Even after we broke up she fucked with me, so I don't know what else to do but kill myself. When I was ultra skinny, she'd mess with me, when I got up to 110-130 lbs she'd still mess with me knowing I was anorexic. She's always been incredibly mean and she always pushed me around and my ex M would say I wasn't allowed to tell her off even if she was obviously in the wrong. I never cursed her out one time and she'd try to drive me to suicide and make fun of me, so I fucking avoided her like the black plague. So what is the best course of action? My ex M didn't want me in college or working a higher paying job that I loved and then he'd fucking protect J at all costs and she'd fucking attack me and call me an asshole and do things that were obviously wrong, but I wasn't allowed to stand up to her. Even if I pointed out how she is in the wrong and used logic against her, she'd fucking curse me out and try to fuck with me. So what do I do if my ex M won't be held accountable for everything he did and he refuses to discuss all the shit J did to me? He acts like everything just fucking blows over and J can continually do whatever she wants without any repercussions whatsoever?