I'm beyond pissed at myself


so lets start this off with saying my boyfriend has wanted kids since forever and has been ready to have one for a year. i just got ready to have one 4 months ago. i stopped taking my birth control and we have been trying for 3 months. i know its not that long but its frustrating. my period is like clock work 28 days 3 to 4 days long. i decided this month I'll track bbt and opks. NOTHING FUCKING WORKS FOR ME. i ovulated on cd 15 im currently 18dpo and 5 days late for af. took a test day of period NOTHINGGGG took one today with smu Nothing again. its like my body just wants to play tricks with me. it like its taunting me. i feel like i am failing my boyfriend. he wants a kid so bad (i do to) but its like nothing i seem to do works. he is always so hopeful, why am i the one who gets all the anger and depression from this? I'm so pissed st myself that i can't get it right 😭😒