TTC struggle coming to the realization..


That I might have to explore other options for having a baby. I'm 21. Young I know but I'm married to my best friend. I am a survivor or rape it happened for years. In result I have a lot of scar tissue surrounding my cervix and opening etc... my husband has been so patient through the whole process. I've know him since I was 11. His cousin is my best friend. But me and him never really hung out along until a few years ago. And he has remained constant even with knowing everything. Anyways, so we've been trying for over a year.. I was told I might have to much scar tissue which is most likely blocking the sperm. I have an appointment January 4th. To see if surgery can be an option. So that's my side of infertility. My husband has skin cancer removed from his balls when he was 10. And the cancer was pretty large. Okay... so they said that the cancer could effect his mobility of sperm as well. I'm so lost... like we want nothing more than a baby. We both cry when I start my period. We went Black Friday shopping yesterday and two kids were talking to us and said happy thanksgiving and they were twins. We want twins. I'm also a twin so I lost it in meijer in front of a bunch of people.. like I don't know where to go from here. I just feel like maybe were meant to adopt.. but like I wasn't raised by my real parents so I always wanted to be biologically related to my child. I want to be pregnant. 😭😭