Not Always Sex

Last night, I hung out with my boyfriend, Shawn. By hung out, I mean we went out on a date and then watched an episode of Stranger Things (the new season).

Earlier that day, he told me he wasn't up to having sex and he didn't want me to sleep over because he had to wake up early today. When he said this, my heart automatically went

Because I thought that meant that he wasn't attracted to me anymore, or that he was losing interest. Granted, this is a pretty new relationship, but I'm having issues with my mind. These bad thoughts from previous relationships that have been abusive keep coming up.

I got to Shawn's place last night and I'm super anxious, thinking of the worst. Right when I see him, he puts his arms around me and kisses me. My heart went

We went to get Italian ice and had a crepe, which neither of us had before, then we went back to his place and watched Stranger Things. When I left, he made me tea to keep me warm on the walk back to my place.

I had nothing to worry about, and when I thought more about it, I realized that we hadn't been on an actual date in a while, just is two. It was really nice and we both agreed we need to do it more often.