Help! I want to like Swallowing

Hi all, first time posting here.

I’ve been with my bf for nearly a year now and we have a wonderful relationship and a wonderful sex life.

Something that’s bothering me, though, is that while I love going down on him, I have an aversion to him finishing in my mouth. I believe that this comes from an association I developed when I was much younger that this was something I HAD to do, and that it was degrading (I watched porn where women gagged and spilled cum from their mouths and it looked like they were being used.) After all that, I also had a bad experience with a different boyfriend several years ago.

Current bf says it doesn’t bother him if we never do it. He would like it, but he’s never pressured me to do it, or even asked. But I want to WANT to do it. I would like to be comfortable and adventurous with all aspects of our sex life.

So do you ladies have any advice with this? And for you ladies who love to do this - can you tell me what you like about it?