idk what to do anymore...

my .."fiance" and i have been together just over 2 years.. hes 29 ill be 23 in feb..

we have been very on and off and the only time of our relationship that was actually good was maybe the first month. since then its been constant fighting or just not talking..

i let him talk me into having a baby. our son is now 11 months old. i have a almost 4yr old daughter too, her father is not in the picture. he expects my daughter to call him dad but has no problem saying shes not his kid when he is mad... he goes on about his step dad being mean to him does not give him the right to tell my daughter to go away or shut up!

i am now 22 weeks pregnant and i feel horrible because my son and this baby were planned and i know we probably arent going to make it...

he cares more about his video games then anything , and if I bring it up he says well at least my video games dont bitch...

the only time i bitch at him is if he is mea doesn't spend time with me!

before our son was born he would never want to do anything together! always work,gym,game even told me his days off are like his weekend and he just wants to game.

like ... wtf.

he got into pokemon go and for our first year anniversary i got nothing and he ditched me to play pokemon go with his friend all night..

so fn immature.

after our son was born he was good the first week & then was like he was over it... id ask him if he could make a bottle "oh why you sweat some balls doing it" or something like that.... going out to the movies with his friends rather than spending time with his newborn son after work..

i ended up leaving him when my son was 3 months because he was pretty much completly ignoring me. made me get a job and leave me 3 month old baby, wouldnt help with bills... ect.

so i left got my own place was actually feeling happy .. and then the im sorrys and ill change .. came and i took him back he said he would give up gaming for me and he loved me this and that...

i dont care that he games.. its good he has a hobby. but when he ignores me and puts his video games first... then its a problem..

And so i ended up taking him back things were better for the first few months. And now its basically exactly what it was before i left...

I threaten to leave he says good cant wait .. But then says he loves me..

I dont get it.

My family doesnt like him. My older brother calls him useless,selfish on and on...

And also the first year this guy lived with me he payed for nothing. I payed everything. The second place he payed 200 of the rent thats it. And now its 5050 expect for daycare and everything my son needs because i get child tax so he doesnt think he should have to...

We moved out of our 3 bdrm low income house because it was out of the city we work in and into a little 2 bedroom appt that was suppose to be tempory until a month ago when he traded our suv in for a truck that im pretty sure is 800 biweekly he said. So.. Now we cant afford to move because he got a truck he can hardly afford... He got a job a week ago that pays a little more... Not enough to move. Funny hes been looking for a better job for how long and nothing all a sudden now all these interviews and now a new job.. So who knows if he was even looking before.

Im so mad he put a truck before his family!

And if i bring it up he gets mad or says its my truck get the fuck over it.... He is selling his car to get me a suv or minivan that i have to pay him 400 a month until its payed off...

I feel like there is no us in this relationship... If that makes sense.

Im so over this he is so immature and mean and honestly i dont think he actually cares about me..

I dont see this relationship getting any better. I cant live like this!

Im scared to leave because he already has one possibly two kids he doesnt see .. And i want my kids to know their dad .. I already feel like a single mom... Im so confused i dont love this man but i want to make it work. Or im just scared to leave . idk what to do.

Something must be wrong with me that i always stay with guys that dont treat me good!

Should i stay and try harder idk..

This man calls me useless and a bad mom when all i do is go to work come home and take care of my kids but yet im useless...

I still care about him becauee he is the father of my kids but this relationship is making me so fn depressed.

Im so scared to leave and be alone. Im worried hes going to find another girl and have nothing to do with his kids or totally deny their his. I know he wont pay child support. I want him to at least be there for them..

I feel like i should just stay and make it work because nobody else is going to want me with 3 kids.

Im sorry this post is so long.

Ive been bottling so much up i dont even know how to out everything into words. I feel have nobody to talk to. I have one friend left but shes busy working and raising her own kids we dont get together as often.. I feel so fucking alone and depressed ... Ughh 😞