goal weight =healthy weight?

okay so a little backstory I have been slowly gainin weight my whole like. till I was 18 at 18 I had a lot of life struggles as ended up in a mental hospital because of my issues and my weight. I went from 220 to 160 in the span of maybe 3 months. and was still losing weight. well I ended up being 195 leaving the hospital. fast forward to now I literally just turned 23 yesterday and im happy to say I have lost 12-15 lbs in the last month in a half to two months. now I'm no longer 195 infact I'm 230-225. I have been struggling with the dreaded gain an lose roller coaster for a few years now and finally decided I'm going to stick with it. so my question is this. I am 23, 5'5", and very muscular. is 165-175 a good weight for me. when I was 165 the last time I was in a size 8-9. currently I am in a size 17-18. I am medically considered obese but I have no health issues because of my weight over than my body dismorohia. I may be overweight but my brain sees something entirely different. it drives my husband crazy. anyways is that an ideal goal weight I mean I don't want to get too skinny as my mom and I have the same body type and she also has body dismorohia and when my grandmother died a few years ago my mom dropped to 140/150 and literally looked like a skeleton. she lived with my grandfather to help him out and he literally made her weight herself once a week just to make sure she was gaining weight again. she's currently at 190 and in a size 10 I believe maybe a 12. and she looks a little healthier her face still looks sunken in but anyways I don't want to get that way because honestly I know if I do no one can brin me back. my husband is already terrified because I'm already obsessing with what I eat and how many calories and how much I weight so I don't want it to get worse but at the same time I'm pretty sure it is. this just turned into a PSA about my issues. look I don't want opinions on my issues I like my mind I like how once I have something in my head I'm gonna make it happen. I know I shouldn't but my image of myself and the voices I hear telling me how to look or not to eat that have been the only constantly in my life for as long as I can remember and honestly I don't want it to change. I know when to stop and I will stop myself well before I need to at least I hope so and if it gets out of hand I have my family and my husband. now back to the question at hand is 165-175 a good range.