3 years for nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

So about 3 days after thanksgiving my boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument...I guess ? He’s been going out with his friends every weekend and stays out until about 12 or 1 am. Yes we talked and agreed it was fine but by that time of night I’m so tired and irritated because I’ve taken care of our 1 year old daughter aaaaall day.

He had went to the movies with his friends that night and it really didn’t matter but for some reason I got kind of jealous in a way because we were supposed to go. I just wanted to feel like a priority. So I continued to “be upset” and he never came to talk to me or whatever that night I had found one of the girls he works with on his snapchat under the name as “nick”and had seen they had been talking. I confronted him and he said that’s what they called her at work and it was just about anime. Somehow over the night it had escalated and we broke up. The next day he got ready for work and didn’t come back which he told me he was going to do but still. Heartbroken because I loved him so much and didn’t understand how he could do this. Just throw away 3 years like it was nothing and expect me to be fine. We had plans to move that Friday into our apartment. At first he had promised this was just a break and we were going to get back together. He wanted to “better” himself. Each day in got better and we agreed were still moving into our apartment but he still wanted his time ...I didn’t understand completely but I just went with it if this was going to make him better. At first he said he would be back next Friday then he asked if he could come home sooner and of course i didn’t deny him that. Then one morning he came over (called his work and said he would be late) and told me that we weren’t getting back together and things wouldn’t be the same. Once again heartbroken. He gave me hope and then destroyed it again. He told me that he had missed our daughter more than me. I mean I get it but the way he meant it was so painful to hear.... again I don’t understand because just last night he was acting if everything was fine taking me he loved me and all that. And then nothing again. The next day he had taken us out to dinner & we both didn’t eat much. It was awkward and felt totally different but how could it be “normal” after all that. Saturday I offered for him to see his daughter and he said no. Sunday we had agreed we would all go to his moms to visit and then last minute he said “he didn’t know”. Then called me back again to tell me just to get our daughter ready. Then after he had dropped her off that night he went and seen a movie with the girl from work the movie we were supposed to see...Monday I had went to the bank to get money out because he literally left us with nothing. That night at like 11 pm he texted me just asking for pictures. Not asking how she is or anything knowing that she was getting sick. This Thursday I let him see our daughter and after 30 minutes I asked him to leave and he told me to shut the fuck up and that he would leave when he was ready. Every day since Sunday he had been with that girl from work. Just hanging out or whatever...sleeping together I don’t know if they’re having sex but probably she had a hickey on her neck. I’m so frustrated because he doesn’t even have a chance to be lonely but yet he says he’s still lonely. Thursday during the day he didn’t go to work and went to where we used to go to to “think” but then he went to the mall for 3 hours and probably not alone. This weekend on Saturday he stayed all night at the girl from his works house... I don’t understand how someone can move on so fast. And this girl is posting all these pictures with him sleeping like she’s trying to piss me off but why? She doesn’t even know me and all the pain he’s already put me through. And wants to have sympathy for him saying oh it’ll be ok because i didn’t let him see our daughter but how can I when he treats me like that ? I put my life on hold for him. Made sure he graduated, got him two good jobs and tried to help him in every way and he never made sure I was ok... now I’m going to enroll in college get a job and make a good life for me and my daughter. But now I’m thinking where am I going to meet a good guy I don’t want to continuously end up down this path. I don’t want anymore wasted time