Male Postpartum and How to Prevent It
So my husband showed me a post on Reddit the other day concerning a first time dad and his struggles with his own postpartum depression. This new father took the to explain his personality prior to baby and his slow spiral into depression and why, he feels, it happened (It was descriptive and, I thought, well done.). I was very thankful for my husband showing me this post because this stranger's self described personality sounded exactly like my husband's. Which is probably exactly why it caught his attention in the first place.
Just a bit of surface level information on us: We are both in our mid 30's and are about to have baby number 1 in about 40 weeks. Both of us are extremely excited, sometimes I believe he is more so than I, lol. I don't have much family or very many friends. His family and friends are 3 hours away and he is about to start a new, work-from-home job this Monday coming up. My support system is him. His support system is me and a huge Italian family...3 hours away. We both enjoy games (video, board, table top). While my husband is an introvert, he is very friendly and usually has a very positive attitude.
After reading that post I started to do a bit of research into male postpartum depression and how I might try to make sure he feels needed and special even when I'm not doing OK myself. After absorbing my research, I compiled a list of silent promises that I have made to him: We have planned on exclusively breastfeeding. Once she and I have figured this breastfeeding thing out, if she cries when you hold her, I will pump you a bottle. I will try not hover over you and her, so you two can have alone time. I will not criticize and nit-pick if you are doing the same job differently than I do with her. As long as she is comfortable and clothed, how you want to dress her is OK with me. I will try to make time just for you. I will try to give you the time you need to play your video games with your friends long distance.
I feel like these aren't enough though...but are a good start? I'm looking for suggestions from people who are in similar situations or perhaps have ideas on how to make sure that he feels needed and special; that he is given the opportunity to take care of himself at times. How do I make sure he too is taken care of in addition to baby and myself? Baby is important. I am important. He too is important.
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