Well I might as well say it since everyone else does it behind my back. I'm a bad Mom whose gone through things. This bad Mom grew up without her Mom, because she struggled with drug addiction and did what she thought would be best. Gave me up to my Grandparents where I grew up in a filthy house most of the time, and a "What happens in this house stays in this house" rule cause God forbid that anyone finds out that this family isn't perfect at all, and is quiet fucked up. God forbid you tell the family secret to anyone. I've gone through lots of abuse. And at a young age I got pregnant. I now had to pretend that the living situation my son and I were in was perfect. I was told to suck it up. My Grandparents made it so leaving and getting out on my own wasn't gonna happen. I got a job, and ended up pregnant again at the age of 17. My kids Dad just started being in my children's life before our daughter was born. Now I had to pretend that everything was perfect and I wasn't struggling with home situations, depression, and raising 2 kids under the age of 1. So I did what I deemed was best. I gave my kids Father custody of them so my children didn't have to live what I live in, don't have to grow up in my fucked up family, don't have to be in a bad environment. I'm a very bad mother because I've made mistakes. I've left my kids to cry for an hour because I was so freaking exhausted I wasn't able to wake up, nor hear them. I'm now 19 years old with 2 kids, still in my bad situation because I've never been able to get out since all my money needed to go to diapers, wipes, clothing, etc for my kids, and they still are with their Father (Who doesn't take care of them at all, and in fact when he was with his now ex whom he also has a child with didn't even bother to see our kids, however they put him on a pedestal of Father of the year! When his Mother is the one who did everything. ) Yes I see my kids, Yes I take them more then my required visitations because his Mom needs a break. Not him. His Mom. I'm a bad Mother, and I feel like I'm drowning in all of my feelings. It's time that I just accepted that I'm not a good Mom because I simply wanted better for my children then what I could give them.