Husband with autism

I have high functioning autism. and I feel like it will soon be the cause of my marriage ending. my wife seems to get upset with me sometimes at things out of my control. and I feel bad if I bring up my autism when this happens cause I feel like I'm using it as an excuse and I'll I'm trying to do is just remind her to have a little patience. I can't talk about things cause I shut down. most of the time we do things I like cause I can't process new things or she wants to go somewhere and it's going to be a loud crowded place which will overload my sensories. it frustrates me that I can't give her what she wants, someone she can talk to who can look her in the eyes and understand and talk back and someone she can go do new adventures with. and if it frustrates me, I'm sure it frustrates her even more....any husband's out there in my shoes or wife's with husband's like me that have advice?