How to get out when you love them

Hi all!

I’m posting anonymously because if anyone knows me this is quite embarrassing.

So basically long story short, my partner is very controlling and emotionally abusive. He calls me names all the time like fat, ugly, slag, whore etc. He manipulates me into things I don’t agree with by saying things like if you go out you clearly don’t love me..

I know these things are wrong, but umm it here to be lectured I’m here to ask how you walk away when you love your abuser?!

I’ve done it before, but silly me went back to him because I missed him and loved him. I have bipolar so when I left it sent me into a really depressive state in my bipolar and he uses my mental health to his advantage.

I live in England so any American helplines etc won’t work here but still any advice, any stories of you doing something similar etc please x