am I a bad person? why do I feel like I'm not

I made the decision to let my parents take care of my child it was the most hardest decision I had to make since having to sign my rights away to my oldest 2 daughters....i miss all my kids...i have 4 daughters but only see one of them....my oldest 2 were adopted and my youngest I miscarried....which her dad said it was the best thing for us because he's still actually married even though they are separated....i love this guy with all my heart ♥ but I put up with slot of bull shit from his family and my family I have been with him for going on 2 years but I don't feel like he really cares like I do