depression

i wish someone would listen to me.

tw: brief mention of self harm

edit: basically i’ve been struggling a lot lately, i’ve been dissociated for a while and its making everything feel like a dream almost and because nothing feels real its making me not care about anything. i’ve been having suicidal thoughts as well and at the start of September i asked to see the school councillor but my school just haven’t done anything. i told a teacher i trust about my suicidal thoughts and they told the student safeguarding team and they still haven’t been helping me. i feel like i’m alone because i can never talk to anyone, one of my friends made me feel like i was making my feelings up, another always makes it about them when i try and tell them how i’m feeling its like they have to have it worse than me and i’m just so tired. two of my friends self harm and i feel like i can’t talk to them w/o triggering them and ik this sounds bad but i feel like i don’t need or deserve help because i’m not self harming so my situation isn’t as bad? i feel like ut could be worse so why am i struggling so much. idk if any of that made sense but yeah.

i’m just finding school really hard and i can’t find a reason to try and it just feels like everything is pointless.

also, thank you so much for commenting on here i’m so thankful that i have this space to vent in