I love my son. I love him to pieces. But he is so difficult and it’s been so hard for me to raise him.

He cries 24/7, will never sleep, and is just never happy. He’s gotten better since we changed his diet and got him on reflux meds. But he is still always miserable. I know he’s fine, because when he’s with ANYONE else.. like my mom, or my sister, he is ALL SMILES and happy and naps well and even sleeps in a crib. When I have him I can’t even pee. I go hours without eating or drinking because he is screaming and thrashing around and having a tantrum.

I feel like such a failure of a mother because I seem to be the only person who cannot make him happy. I was powering through it and being strong but recently my family and everyone keeps saying it’s just me, that I’m nuts, he’s completely well behaved. They don’t witness him when I’m alone with him. I don’t understand how a baby so young could behave this way.

I would never want anything to happen to my baby. But a lot of days I wish I didn’t have him. Or that he was different. I know babies are hard. But this is so much worse than normal. And he just turned 3 months olds. All of the doctors say he should be better by now. He is. With anyone but me.

My husband just says I’m a great mom and this time will pass. But I’m so depressed and defeated that I don’t know how I will even make it through. I want to enjoy my baby. And remember these days like people say I should. But I just hate him. I hate my baby!

Ugh. I’m sorry. I just needed to get that off my chest.