I need prayers

My mom was (5 months) pregnant and today she went to the hospital to check on him when she went back they checked him they couldn’t find his heart beat so my mom called us and told us to get ready and I got my siblings ready and we got there and we sat down and my mom told us that he had passed away so we all just sat there me and my 6 siblings and I wanted to cry so bad but I held my tears back when the rest of the family got there I wanted to cry even more and towards the end my older sister grabbed me I said what are you doing she said I know you she grab me and held me tight and my walls finally broke and I felt so relieved I got home and just started blaming God for all the things I don’t get to teach him and hold him when he’s scared and I want him back but I know he’s in Heaven but I need help getting through this storm